In the mirror I saw..

I stowed my head under the pillow and cried endlessly. The world around me never seemed alright to me. But after a long time, it was pinching me and the time was pestering me, "Ankur, when will you be free from the clutches of other people? When will you fly? When will your time come? When will you smile with joy? When will the word 'excitement' look small to you? When, Ankur when?"

I washed my eyes, stared at myself in the mirror and saw a slave, a slave of situations. I saw a man who has made 'patience' his best ally. I saw a man who has lost belief but has kept his faith intact. I saw a man whose heart pumps with the power of faith, only. I saw 'Ankur', a seedling that sprouts and clears its way through the layers of earth and becomes a tree. I saw potential but no power yet. I saw courage but no strength yet. I saw a wheel, that is being pushed to the top of the mountain, waiting to run. I saw helplessness with help all around. I saw 'wait' standing with his rare partner called 'Certainty'. I felt the words, 'No pain, no gain', so deeply that pain ceased, 'gain' lost its meaning.

In the mirror I saw...what I have become and what I can become if I leave what I have become.

P.S.: I don't know what happens to me after watching movies like 'Udaan', 'Taare Zameen Par', 'Shawshank Redemption', 'Papillon', books like 'Not without my daughter'.

Diwali afterthoughts

I woke up with the harsh sounds of crackers and wondered, "How did I sleep so much and I am waking up in the evening". I picked up my watch and saw that it's 6 in the morning! People here were bursting crackers at 6 in the morning. I went out to have tea and the tea stall guy told me that people started with the crackers at 4.30 in the morning. I was dumbstruck.

I could not understand this weird system. I even heard rockets and aerial showers in daylight. I could not know the reason behind this stupidity. I called up my parents in Delhi to wish them Diwali and they told me the opposite thing that people there were just not interested in crackers this time, a very low sale of crackers. I smiled and thought, "Finally people are getting to understand that environment matters." But this wasn't the case where I stay these days, Chennai.

We clean our homes on Diwali but dirty the environment. Isn't this Earth our home? There already so much pollution and we contribute to it heartily on Diwali. Do you think Ma Laxmi or Shri Ram would be happy to see this planet dirty? It's even written in Vedas that we should not harm our environment. Cars, plastic, industries, they are inevitable today, but crackers? Couldn't we do without it? What is the point in making numerous temples and not taking care of our Mother Earth?

I asked my younger sister not to burn crackers and her reply was, "Didn't you burn crackers when you were of my age?" I understood that it's we, adults, who must take the responsibility of guiding the young by setting examples by ourselves.

This is perhaps one of the most boring posts of mine but dirty roads, polluted air, cacophony of crackers on the eve of Diwali compelled me to write this.