My need...something new..

I was feeling horrible since morning. I was not even savoring good food (chole-puri and halwa on Ashtmi), nothing seemed good. I am not used to this hollow feeling. I went for a self-introspection and realized that I had not listened to good music since ages! I fumbled my CD bag, music collection in my hard disk. I was bored with all of it, didn't feel like listening to any of it. I needed something new.

I went to the music room in my house where my grandpa used to play all kinds of instruments. It was all dusty and humid. I looked at tabla, which I had played years back and don't even remember a bit about it. I looked at harmonium, on which I had learnt the basics of notes when I was in class 3...or was it class 2? I don't remember that too. Flutes were in a closet which I could never learn (my lungs are lazy). What about dholak? Nay, I always hear it in ladies sangeet. Then my eyes took me to guitar, all packed in black cover. I held it, for the first time in my life. I didn't know what to do with it, totally clueless. I sat on a chair, kept it on my laps and started slapping it the August Rush style. AND WOW! It was not bad. Kept on slapping it in different rhythms and tempos until I found a tune which atleast one would comprehend. I was excited! Called her up and made her listen to it which I think she found vociferous. But then, she always praises me.

I felt good after doing something new. I remember the times when everyday was new, I always did new things, learnt new things. I have got the zeal again to do the same with my days, "Everyday, something new".

I made it a promise to do something new

Always a new step when we dance, me and you

Oh my babe, all my life

You and me, looking sky

I made it a promise to see something new

Always a new star when I look up with you

Oh my honey, all my life

You and me, roaming by

I made it a promise to go somewhere new

Always a new road when I drive up with you

Oh my heart, all the time

You and me, sipping wine

I made it a promise to taste something new

Always a new bread when I eat up with you

Oh my light, oh my moon

You and me, listening tune

I made it a promise to hear something new

Always a new song when I listen to you

Oh my darling, oh my dove

You and me, making love

la la la la laaa.. la la la laaaa... ;)

Bulls***

I was reading an older post of mine, “Assumptions: Mother of all screw ups!!”, dated May 18, 2009. I realized how frustrated I was because of people’s opinions about love that I wrote that sarcastic post. I was even more frustrated with people who have never been in love but have so many theories about love. I know and I always knew that love is never meant to be understood, it’s meant to be felt. Still, why did I write that post? Why other’s opinions affected me? Perhaps, I was being a football of other’s opinions.

Opinions are like assholes, everyone has one. It’s better not to smell all of them, thus not to be affected by them. We all have different experiences, so we have different opinions. I really need to learn how to stand people with opinions that I find narrow and bullshit. I hope I find a way soon and update all my blog readers with a tangible solution pertaining to the problem of standing people with bullshit opinions.

Not just a journey....

Excited to drop my pack at home

I took my berth, in a hope

that the journey ends soon

Behind a book, I saw a face

Acting oblivious to the obvious

I acted oblivous too

Soon with time, we obviated the obvious

Not recognising each other as strangers

The train, the door, the edge

Acting crazy, reacting hazy

Feeling cold, nothing to hold

Just a spark of warmth felt

enough to make me melt

I saw bubbles trapped in her heart

and a void in my heart to free those bubbles

A bubble freed in the Arabian sea,

with my hand in her hand in salsa pose

The bubble flew in the rhythm of my words

It flew as high as the lighthouse

as far as the sun

but as near as we were

The fall came, the bubbles bursted onto candy lips

under millions of stars

Shock and fear were all one emotion

Time changed its course

again and again and yet again

She asked for answers

I gave few forever questions

As the moments grew, times flew

It was my turn to be the sheep, I knew

Everything became a play

Actors assuming roles

Two people on the opposite poles

Holding each other yet

No matter what, the bond is unbreakable, I bet

Forgiveness and gratitute became the basis

Truly we showed our faces

Distance came, who was to blame?

No one, it's the nature's will

Connection exists and will always be

Playing on the strings of my heart's harp

A string breaks, I feel it

I hear it, I heal it

A hope to see those bubbles again

A prayer to free those bubbles again

A journey which started but never ended

A journey which was not just a journey

Mysteries of life

I have an affinity towards the unknown, not for my curiosity but for the beauty of the unknown. I like forests because it’s a mystery from inside. I like mountains because I don’t know what is behind them. I like rivers because I don’t know where they go, what path they take. I like ocean because I don’t know what is under it. A face partially covered by a veil attracts me more than a girl’s naked body. A partially veiled face is more open to my imagination; it makes my imagination flow and attracts me. And what is left to imagine in a naked body? Absolutely nothing!

While someone is missing me badly and I, without a clue, unexpectedly wake up in the middle of the night to call her. Why does this happen?

While I am thinking about someone and that friend catches my eye in the middle of the crowd. Why does this happen?

If I genuinely desire something, I get that thing, sooner or later. Why does this happen?

I cry without a reason and then after sometime I come to know that she was also crying. Why does this happen?

Why does a face that I had never noticed, it suddenly started looking so beautiful?

Why was that song played in my neighborhood, the song I was just thinking of?

I don’t want the answers. I want few forever questions. I want to cherish the beauty of the mystery. There are mysteries of life which I respect and I don’t fish in to find the logic behind them. Life is never logical, man is never rational, then why should I search for a rationale behind the mysteries of life? Curiosity might have its own reasons for existing but beauty also has its own reasons for being appealing.

Without pyjamas...

How does it feel when you get your favorite dish to eat after a long hunger pang? I felt this thrice yesterday! Imagine long rush hours of government office formalities, ambulating here and there, hunger pangs and then? Then you eat your favorite food! Wow! I got this feeling thrice in a day.

What was still to come? I had more work in the office (dad's office). Cargo had to be unloaded. Inspection, counting, and guess what? Labor was short in numbers, so? So I had to do the physical work! I just wanted to finish the work A.S.A.P., I said A.S.A.P., because it was already 2 a.m., yeah I said 2 a.m. Finally everything was wrapped at 3 a.m., I won't say again that it was 3 a.m. I was sweaty, dirty, stinky and seemed like the worst possible guy a girl would like to have sex with. To add to the pudding, my face was dark with dirt. For extra toppings, I hadn't applied deodorant in the morning. But...BUT... (of course my butt was paining but...) but to go back home, I had my bike (Yamaha FZ16, awesome bike). The roads were without a hint of traffic, clean, straight, smooth, shining with yellow road lamps, traffic signals blinking and my passion for speed. Air was cool. I, cruising at 100kph, drying up my sweat, cool wind hitting my face and my bare arms, it felt like a dream.

Now what? In the middle of nowhere, I saw an old man with white beard and white hair, white kurta (no, he wasn't wearing his pyjamas), standing on the road side. Unheeded by my speed, he attempted to cross the road (suddenly!). I managed to save both of us (or probably just myself) by passing from his side. Man! Why the hell he crossed the road like that? Did he forget his pyjamas on the other side of the road?

Or was he the face of death, trying to remind me that death can come anytime, so live as if you were to die tomorrow. Or was he the reminder of the accident that I saw in the morning where the biker was hit by a speeding bus on the ring road, and I could see his brains lying on the road? Shouting at my face that life can leave your hand anytime, so stop holding onto someone else's life and start living your own life.